


if you're too shy (let me know)

by tumemxnques



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Harm, Sequel, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumemxnques/pseuds/tumemxnques
Summary: (sequel to 'jesus christ 2005 god bless america')matty finally tells george the truth.
Relationships: George Daniel/Matthew Healy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	if you're too shy (let me know)

**Author's Note:**

> back with the sequel you asked for!  
> the new song gave me the motivation to finally write it. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS
> 
> alcohol abuse  
> self harm

**i wanna see and stop thinking**

**if you're too shy then let me, too shy then let me know**

When his girlfriend broke up with him for another guy, Matty was alone again. Alone and sad and confused. Being with her had made it easy to push his feelings for George to the back of his mind, but now that she was gone, they hit him with a force he wasn't prepared for. He hated it, not being able to look George in the face anymore. His heart would race and he would blush and he hated it. He didn't want to go back to how complicated things had been when they had been teenagers. He didn't want to lose George again just because he couldn't get a damn grip on his stupid emotions. He was going to just ignore the feeling until it would go away, he decided. That way, it was better for everyone involved. But it was hard, harder than he had expected. George was just… _George_. And Matty loved him. 

Just after they had come off stage somewhere, Matty was sweaty and still panting, George walked past him, but not without pressing a lingering kiss to Matty's neck. His heart dropped, he blushed and then, simultaneously, Matty flinched, giggling nervously. But George just kept on walking. _Fuck_ , Matty thought. _I'm falling. I'm falling but he won't be able to catch me_. 

After that, he tried his best to be distant, he really did. But it was hurting George, he could see it in his eyes when George looked at him longingly from across the room backstage. And hurting George hurt Matty. He didn't know what to do. Everything just felt like back then. And he swore to himself he wasn't gonna mess it up again. 

But with the memories came the darkness and with the darkness came the alcohol and eventually the bloody blades in the cupboard under the sink. _I was better than that_ , Matty thought when he slid down the wall of his bathroom once again, crying, after he had hurt George's feelings again with something he had said. He had just tried to protect his best friend. He knew he needed to tell him. Soon. He just didn't know how. He was terrified. _I was more than that._

**but if you're too shy then let me know**

**if you're too shy then let me go**

George blew a cloud of smoke into Matty's direction, who just rolled his eyes. "Blow it to the left, you prick." But George just chuckled lowly and put his cigarette between his lips again. Matty and George were outside the bus. George was sitting on a huge box that contained some equipment, while Matty was lightly swaying to the music playing on his phone that was lying on a smaller box. He was wearing a white skirt and a red shirt, a necklace dangling around his neck and the dark curls an adorable mess. Matty looked down at his feet as he twirled around and George smiled as he watched his best friend. He had been weird for a while now, sad and irritated, so seeing him this relaxed was a welcome change. Something was still bothering Matty, but George didn't want to push. He knew Matty would tell him eventually. "Georgie?" he suddenly mumbled under his breath, not looking up. George flicked the cigarette away and straightened his posture. "Huh?" he asked. Matty finally looked up at him and George thought he looked kind of anxious. "What if I told you I was in love with a guy?" George snorted ungraciously. "Uh, alright? Nothing new here, mate. I figured you had a thing for dudes, no need for an awkward outing." Matty sighed and rubbed his neck. "That okay with you?" George looked into his eyes. They were shimmering and he sighed. "Of course. Come here, babe." Matty let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and leaned into George's embrace. George was sitting so high up he could only lean his head against his thighs, whilst George put his palms on his shoulder blades. "Thank you," Matty mumbled between George's legs, trying not to let the position get to him. "Of course," George reassured him and smiled. They were silent for a while, just the music playing quietly from Matty's phone. Then, Matty opened his eyes again, but didn't bother to move. "I need to tell him, George." His friend raised an eyebrow. "Do it. What's stopping you?" Matty groaned. "What if he freaks out? What if he hates me?" George laughed, the vibrations shaking Matty's fragile body, too. Matty loved his laugh. It was deep and warm and comforting. "If that will be the case, he's not worth it, man." Matty nodded. He tried to collect all his courage, but the words got caught in his throat. He tried to fight back tears and slow his heartbeat down, but he started trembling instead. George immediately noticed and started stroking Matty's back." Hey, what's up?" Matty looked at him and a whimper escaped his lips. "It's you," he sobbed. "I'm in love with you." There, he said it. Finally, after so many years. George was left without words for a moment, his mind was empty. "Please don't hate me," Matty cried when he didn't answer. That pulled him out of his shock. "No, god, Matty of course not. It's fine. Everything's fine!" He slipped from the box and wrapped his strong arms tightly around Matty, who wailed and buried his face in George's chest. "I'm so, so sorry, George," he sobbed. "I tried to stop it. But it just got stronger everyday. I don't want to lose you, please." George closed his eyes and gave the small boy a squeeze. "No, you won't." He didn't say it back, Matty realized,which only made him cry harder. "I'm so sorry I can't feel the same way," George whispered into his ear, as if he could read his mind. "I'm so sorry, I just don't like men that way." Matty nodded. "Yeah." George pressed a kiss to his head. "Nothing's gonna change between the two of us, though," he promised Matty. "We're still Matty and George. We're still us." Matty sighed and buried his face in George's shirt again. "Thanks." Silence spread again, and _Be My Mistake_ came on. Matty started to absentmindedly, lightly sway in George's arms again. "You wanna dance?" George whispered, looking down at Matty, only for him to hear. Matty nodded softly, not answering verbally. But with George, he didn't need to. George took one of his hands into his large one and started swaying from side to side in sync with Matty. They fit perfectly, he couldn't deny that. "If you need space, though-" George started after a moment, but Matty interrupted him. "No," he mumbled. "Please. Don't let me go." George opened his mouth in protest. "But maybe it will be better-" Matty groaned. "George," he said and looked George deep in the eyes. "Shut the fuck up for once, okay? I just wanna enjoy the dance." George smiled awkwardly and relaxed when Matty leaned his cheek against his chest again. "Alright." So they kept dancing. A perfect fit. A perfect pair. A perfect match. Matty and George. George and Matty. Just not in the way Matty wished for them to be. _But it will be alright. We will get through it together. Every baby step of the way. Just the two of us. Together. Matty and George. George and Matty_. 


End file.
